We’re Pregnant!

Things have been a bit quiet and this is pretty much why!

I blogged about it on my own personal lifestyle blog hazearella but I figured this blog also deserves its own post since it’s dedicated to our life together.

I’m officially as of today a few days over 14 weeks which is CRAZY to think about. Of 3 pregnancies, this is my longest one. I would be lying if I said I had hope it would be a successful/normal pregnancy — I’d be lying if I said I had expected to not miscarry.

Hitting 12 weeks was probably the biggest shock to me. I had expected to miscarry since I had been told there’s no way I’d ever be able to maintain a full healthy pregnancy after the miscarriage from last year. I also heard that your next pregnancy would put you at high risk but despite that the doctor had not put me on high risk this time.

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Happy 33~!

I wrote a Happy 33 blog post over on my blog Places & Peonies but I figured I’d write a shorter version here too… just because this is suppose to be a blog about our year together and I know I’m slacking on blog posts and on Instagram posts!

My birthday was on April 12th (ARIES!!!) which landed on a Thursday this year. Sadly Bubba had to attend his grandmother’s funeral the morning of my birthday which I didn’t mind I mean you can’t really be mad at that and it’s not like I would had been — his grandma was always really nice to me in the handful of times I saw her. That last time being Thanksgiving where she gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. I’m really sad for his family’s loss and I wish I had more time to get to know her, she seemed like a really sweet lady.

Plus, that meant I got to sleep in and I mean, I like sleeping in.

Happy Spring!

There are few things in life that instantly put me in a good mood — Spring season is one of them.

Despite I spend 70% of my day every day sneezing my soul out. And even though my allergies are awful in the Spring (though to be fair they’re just as bad in Fall which is also my favorite season).

But also my birthday is in the Spring!

I love how you get super excited for your birthdays until you hit like 25 then it’s like shit, I’m hella close to 30. I’m turning 33 this year which means I’m inching closer and closer to 40 and I’m not sure how I fuckin feel about that.

There’s so much I want to DO and SEE and EXPERIENCE. There’s so much I’m not ready for. There’s so much I want to be ready for but I don’t know how. And as always, I feel like I’m running out of time. Then again I’ve felt like that since I was 13.

However this is my first real Spring in Texas and my first birthday here. Every time I live somewhere I come up with a new tradition, on accident. I’m a little worried since I don’t know what to do for my bday since I don’t know much about Texas but I’m also really curious to see what I’ll stumble on.

Though I have thought of creating a tradition with this super cute bakery in Dallas called Sweet Daze. But we’ll see.

Today is also this sweet girl’s THIRD ADOPTAVERSARY!

Today 3 years ago I got to finally take Sophie home! In the last 3 years we’ve moved FIVE times to FOUR different cities and to TWO states. She’s been my cuddle buddy, my nap buddy, my alarm clock, my time-to-go-to-bed clock, my guard cat and my best friend.

She’s licked my tears while I’ve cried. She’s swatted my arm to get extra loves and she’s woken me up with kisses. She is the sweetest soul I’ve ever encountered and the most laid back cat. She doesn’t get mad. She doesn’t get attitudes. Sometimes she talks back and sometimes she just talks. But she’s never bit anyone out of anger or annoyance. She’s patient with everything except loves. And she loves attention. She also loves cheese. And sea salt kettle chips. And coconut ice cream.

Everyone advised I didn’t adopt her when I found her because she was 10 and only weighed 5 pounds but I’m glad I didn’t listen and held on to her until I could take her home. I don’t regret any of it one bit.

Happy 3 years baby girl, I hope you’ll stick around for another 3. And maybe 3 more after that?

What are some of your favorite things about Spring?

Adventures In… Mental Illness…

Bubba asked me to write a blog post on what it’s like living with anxiety and what it’s like being in a relationship when you have anxiety.

In the last 24 hours I have heavily debated on quitting blogging; something that has been ME, my LIFE since I was 5. I haven’t been blogging since I was 5 but I started keeping a journal since I was 5. I wasn’t introduced to blogging itself until I was 14. And I’ve been blogging, or trying to, ever since.

The reason for the debate was… is… a trigger. A trigger that causes me a great deal of anxiety and pain. Emotionally and physically. And a pretty heavy type of depression that sometimes likes to stay around… for weeks. Or months. Do you know how hard it is to tell depression to get the fuck out?

People will tell you that you’re not your mental illness. But if you ask me, I AM my mental illness.