2 Years


Crazy to think it’s been two years since I started this blog.

I know posts have been here and there and not as frequent as I had planned them to be in the beginning. And for awhile I even stopped posting all together.

But I’m trying to remember why I started this blog – it was meant to be an outlet, a place of healing.

Two years ago we lost our first baby after 10 weeks and I was so wrecked by it and even more wrecked that Bubba wanted me to not speak about it cause he didn’t want his family to know. So I created a blog that people would have to actually find.

And since then I healed; or went crazy and tried to get pregnant again. I can’t really remember anymore. But now two years later we have our dream girl. As in the one who kept coming to us in our sleeping dreams. Which is weird. But hey, she’s here. And she’s almost a year old.

And now I’m faced with new challenges to heal and to take care of myself; but that’s a different post for a different time.

Happy two years pxa.hxj!



pxahxj turns one!


I started this blog one year ago.

How crazy is that?!

I started it as a way to document our year after losing our first baby. I wanted to use it as an outlet for US and as a way to heal me through the disappointment of not knowing what went wrong.

We had so many things planned to do in memory of baby but most of those things ended up falling off or forgotten as the year went on. Then in August, 8 months later, we found out we were pregnant again.

Within those 8 months however were were lots of not so happy things that happened. And sure, that’s normal. All relationships have ups and downs and it’s normal to disagree and to fight every now and then but I don’t know why it always feels like our fights are so sad. We both hate fighting with each other and normally I like documenting everything but I figured some things I just didn’t really want to talk about anymore.

In 2018 the blog has 37 blog posts, 32 followers and an overall view count of 1,047.

Which isn’t bad.

To be honest I thought we had less than 37 blog posts! I’ve been working on growing our Twitter account and it’s just difficult for some reason. I always thought pregnancy/mommy blogging would be easier to connect with others with but it’s proving to be harder than my other blogs. Strange. I haven’t worked much on our Instagram like I’d like to, but it seems like everyone is suffering over on IG right now.

This year I hope to work more on both. To blog more and to document more of our pregnancy. I had hoped to document it week by week but it always feels like there’s nothing to say and too much to say; I don’t know how that works but that’s how it feels. I do have a pregnancy update coming up this weekend and I hope to keep up with updating the blog with more pregnancy news! I also hope to build a Bloglovin and Pinterest account for this blog as well as start up our YouTube channel this year.

We have a lot of things planned for the beginning and end of this year. Then there’s Baby Lo’s arrival somewhere in the middle!

Happy ONE YEAR pxa; here’s to many more ♥.

Pregnancy ↠ Glucose Test


It’s 2019!

That’s so crazy to think about!

It’s so crazy to see how fast my pregnancy is going as well!

We recently switched hospitals and doctors which was a bit stressful to switch over with the paperwork and worrying about not accepting me since I was so far along; but thankfully everything worked out.

Sadly they had me do my Glucose Test, I was trying to avoid this for as long as I could. I didn’t get to snap a pic of the drink but I got the Lemon Lime, they didn’t let me pick the flavor. It wasn’t so bad, I wouldn’t say it was like a flat Sprite but it tasted like a super sweet non carbonated Sprite. It was pretty good and it made Baby Lo dance like crazy for almost 3 days after.

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We’re Pregnant!


Things have been a bit quiet and this is pretty much why!

I blogged about it on my own personal lifestyle blog hazearella but I figured this blog also deserves its own post since it’s dedicated to our life together.

I’m officially as of today a few days over 14 weeks which is CRAZY to think about. Of 3 pregnancies, this is my longest one. I would be lying if I said I had hope it would be a successful/normal pregnancy — I’d be lying if I said I had expected to not miscarry.

Hitting 12 weeks was probably the biggest shock to me. I had expected to miscarry since I had been told there’s no way I’d ever be able to maintain a full healthy pregnancy after the miscarriage from last year. I also heard that your next pregnancy would put you at high risk but despite that the doctor had not put me on high risk this time.

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Happy 2 years~!


Two years ago I married my best friend in a different world.

I can’t believe it’s been two whole years since then! Time truly does fly when you’re having fun, I guess. Because it definitely doesn’t feel like two years. It feels like we just got married. But thinking of the span of time from this day to today and everything that has happened between is crazy.

I’m thankful for this moment. For this day. For the friends that were once family and though they’re not anymore I still keep these memories close to me. I’m thankful for the man by my side who did everything in his power to be there for me — a random girl he met on a video game states away and how he never left my side.

I definitely didn’t know what I was getting into when I decided to say yes to Sir Penny’puss.


This boy with his smooth lines, sexy catboi and his sexy glamours who for the last two years since we became friends had made sure that I go to sleep every single night with a smile on my face. Who’s never taken his eyes or his attention off of me.

(Don’t worry, my hotbar doesn’t look like that anymore)

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pxa 2016~

Sometimes life throws up something so god awful you think you’ll never recover. And sometimes it’ll also throw you under the bus. And sometimes, just sometimes, it’ll throw you someone you were NOT at all even trying to look for.

A few days ago hit the 2 year anniversary of when I was forced to get an abortion. I admit that I had been over my ex lonnnnnnng before that. And I was in a very weird in between state of: okay how do I escape this awful situation I’m in and I never ever want to date anyone or have sex ever again for the rest of my damn life.

So when I felt well enough to jump back on FFXIV I was a bit annoyed my friend at the time was heavy set on me meeting a guy she thought I would love. I told her I wasn’t interested nor was I in the mood. I actually told my entire Free Company to stay away from me that day.


I had spent the day fishing because fishing in FF MMO’s was always a way I had relaxed. And Costa del Sol was definitely a beautiful place to just try and get my mind off of things. It’s still one of my favorite places in the game.

I locked myself in my room and I tried to stay away from everyone.


But apparently my friend manged to catch me in the crafting room while I was looking for fishing bait and brought the boys — including the one she was trying to introduce me to — with her. I only knew Xer (the one in all black) who was “her guy”. I figured the one she was trying to have me meet was Sir Penny’puss (the one who is IRONICALLY matching me). I didn’t know who Naha was at the time and I think there was one other guy there but he had left before I snapped this picture.

I was purposely targeted on Naha because I felt so awkward there. Penny had came up to me and hit me with a macro and I had never seen someone compile a macro just as something fun to do. Most of the time people just do macro’s as an easier way to cast a spell or raise people so to see him put together this really fun macro was interesting.

Right when he was done they all stood around me and hit me with the /joy emote which is one of my favorite boy cat emotes. Then they randomly ported away. My friend told me to chill with them in Limsa but I was still feeling a bit low so I decided to log off instead.

I didn’t have a very big opinion on Penny when I first met him — I was surprised he was wearing a straw hat and that his outfit damn near matched mine. And I thought he had a lot of energy. That last bit is still true to this day, two years later.

I remember not really knowing what to make of him or if I was interested in him since I didn’t know him. But I ended up adding him on Facebook a few days later. And I started a poke war with him. That turned into very early morning conversations that went on all day long for weeks.

On the 23rd he started throwing out smooth lines to me:


I went afk for a bit to fold laundry and I came back to Penny sitting right in front of me staring at me. In a top hat. He didn’t know it at the time, I’m sure, but top hats are a weakness.

Me: I’d fold my clothes happily if I came back to this all the time.
Penny: If I’m around I’ll always do this.

And eventually on June 24th this happened:


I asked him if he had a mat I needed for a top I wanted to craft and he did happen to have it, I was particularly new to this game so I didn’t know much about how things worked or how to obtain them. So he met up with me when he got on after work and gave me the mat I needed.

He then decided to keep me company while I fished and between pony farming with his Free Company.

Again, we’re kinda matching.


I talk about this particular photo a lot.

I don’t really know why but it’s still one of my favorite /gpose catches. I don’t remember what we were doing or why we were even throwing emotes at each other and I still to this day have trouble getting Axelyn to face Penny when I’m doing /gpose. But the one time it actually worked, the photo turned out to be one of my favorites.

It’s hard for me to figure out what day I should write/post this post. Simply because we met on the 21st. Well we “met”. We hung out together for the first time on the 24th and we started dating on the 30th. Or well that’s when we had our “first date”. We don’t really have a legit anniversary date so we just picked that one.


Sometimes life throws things at us that we’re not looking for. Or things we feel like we’re not ready for. But I’ve never been one to let a chance that may change my life slip by.

I can’t believe it’s been 2 years already, it definitely doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. The time has just zipped on by!

Hello February!


I can’t believe it’s already the second month of the year and more than that I can’t believe how fast this month will zoom by since it’s not very long to begin with anyway!

Also, I’m thinking of writing a response to the post Bubba had made previous to this, it was totally unexpected and the sweetest gesture ever. I was having a really emotional fit probably because I was also feeling like I was coming down with the cold and I HATE being sick more than anything! And here he comes to my rescue, as always ♥.

Also I wasn’t hypnotized by his twerking through I did find it impressive he was able to make his avatar do that!

I usually post a goals list almost every month on my personal lifestyle blog (that I almost never really fully complete but it’s the intention that counts, right?!). So I figured why not do one here as well? Some months Bubba and I have specific goals for the month and sometimes we don’t. It all just depends. But if we do or don’t I usually like to set up goals for myself cause I’m forgetful af.

My goals this month include;
⇢ Read 3 books (to stay on track with my Goodreads goal)
⇢ Film/write reviews for the 2 books I finished in December
⇢ Post some sort of blog entry from now until Valentine’s Day
⇢ Prep posts/videos for Easter and Spring
⇢ Attempt to cook ONE new thing
⇢ Catch up on animes
⇢ Start watching a new TV show
⇢ Organize clothes and bins
⇢ Organize closet
⇢ Organize bookshelf
There is a TV show in mind I want to start that’s an Amazon Prime Exclusive called The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. We’re also working our way through Zumbo’s Challenge show which has been super fun to watch! The Aussies have a world of amazing food at their fingertips and I’m so jealous! I also want to take more photos for my gaming instagram account but my gaming photos I’ve taken recently I haven’t been a fan of. So I’m working on that! I also have a shit ton of other photos to post on our instagram that I need to get up.
Bubba’s goals for this month include;
⇢ Getting shelves done
⇢ Completing a collection
⇢ Play one new game
⇢ Create one thing
⇢ Cook more
His main focus right now is his shelves and I can’t wait to see what they’ll look like when they’re done! Mostly because I’ve lost track of WHICH TYPE of shelving he’s decided on. Though I’m hoping this gives us an excuse to go to IKEA so I can do that sour gummies grab bag of delicious Swedish candies again!

These were seriously delicious.

The left is a BANANA CARAMEL MALLOW which dead on tasted like Banana and Caramel. The right is a SOUR SKULL and I have a pretty high tolerance for sour candy as it’s MY FAV but these were sour! Oh I loved them! I follow a number of Swedish foodies on my food instagram (don’t worry I won’t link it — yet) and I guess it’s tradition every Friday for them to create a mix and put it in a bowl and it’s their mix bowl for the week. I love that idea! Though American’s don’t do things like that very often but I am a sucker for traditions!

Let’s see how many of these goals we can accomplish this month and how many adventures we’ll find  \o/