Crazy to think it’s been two years since I started this blog.
I know posts have been here and there and not as frequent as I had planned them to be in the beginning. And for awhile I even stopped posting all together.
But I’m trying to remember why I started this blog – it was meant to be an outlet, a place of healing.
Two years ago we lost our first baby after 10 weeks and I was so wrecked by it and even more wrecked that Bubba wanted me to not speak about it cause he didn’t want his family to know. So I created a blog that people would have to actually find.
And since then I healed; or went crazy and tried to get pregnant again. I can’t really remember anymore. But now two years later we have our dream girl. As in the one who kept coming to us in our sleeping dreams. Which is weird. But hey, she’s here. And she’s almost a year old.
And now I’m faced with new challenges to heal and to take care of myself; but that’s a different post for a different time.
Happy two years pxa.hxj!
It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?
A lot has happened since Mother’s Day and a lot of my mood has had to do with postpartum depression which feels never ending — but I’ll talk about that on my mental health blog some day.
It’s come to my attention that a few days ago was National Daughter’s Day which I didn’t know was a thing.
Tums is officially 6 months today (but her 1/2 year birthday photos aren’t until this weekend) and it’s so crazy how much life can change is just 6 months!
She’s growing more into herself; she loves to laugh and stand and chew on everything from her hands to our hands and shirts to her car seat and she’s constantly trying to chew on my phone! If she can’t chew she’s can be caught licking our arm or wrists.
She said mama last weekend!
She also had her first fall off the bed the other day — as hard as I tried to prevent it.
I guess that means she’s growing up. And I feel like time is flying by!
You’re the joy of our days and you’ve changed our lives. Seeing your excitement and joy over the smallest things reminds me that there’s more to life than me and my OCD. You smile and laugh at me every time you catch me cry and remind me that even though shit can suck it’ll be okay.
I can’t wait for you to talk more and learn to crawl! To introduce you to new places and new foods.
I hope you always know we enjoy your company and we’re so glad you’re here.
Happy National Daughter’s Day.
My mom finally got me my dream camera for Mother’s Day — The Canon G7x Mark II.
She also crashed my first Mother’s Day.
I can’t believe you’re six weeks old!
I still have a hard time believing you’re real and you’re here. Is that weird?
And just like that our Tummy Tums is 3 weeks.
I know I forgot to write a bunch of blog posts that are suppose to come before this one; but I’ll get to that later.
Right now I wanna talk about the things I’ve learned in the last 3 weeks:
We’ve been taking about getting married pretty much our entire relationship; I remember asking him 3 months into our relationship (before we were super serious) if he’d ever marry me in real life. I remember him telling me that you don’t marry someone 3 months into their relationship.
We met in June 2016 and got married in Final Fantasy XIV in July of 2016 and he’s been my absolute best friend ever since.
To be fair, he’s never treated me anything less than a wife even if I was states away. And no matter how much time passed. If anything he’s treated me more like a wife as the days have gone on. With him by my side I’ve never once felt alone.
We had a pretty chill Valentine’s Day this year considering we have a busy February ahead of us;
Plus I had a doctor’s appointment that morning to do my last set of lab work. Thankfully the prick didn’t feel like ANYTHING AT ALL, it was so insane. I hate blood work. It’s more bad memories than anything really. But it went painless and quick. However I did bruise again, sigh. Maybe it’s a pregnancy thing.
It’s so crazy that now I’m in my third trimester I can look back at my first trimester and write about it. I struggle a bit with documenting this pregnancy — I thought I’d have a lot to say since technically a lot goes on but for some reason I never know what to say.
Every pregnancy is different; which kinda sucks. Especially when you’re looking for morning sickness relief.
I love Ginger Dressing in my salad’s when I’m getting Sushi but I hate the general taste of Ginger. It’s spicy to me and not in a good way! So drinking Ginger Tea or sucking on Ginger candy was not going to work! Sour candy helped me in previous pregnancies but this pregnancy sour candy didn’t do anything for me. At all.
I just asked Bubba about foods I could eat versus what I couldn’t eat and he just laughed and said that list was longer than the first one.
These bands? Yeah they didn’t help either.
So here’s my short list of things that did help:
I’m at the end of my 30 weeks and it’s so insane to think there’s just 10 weeks left until Baby Lo gets here!
I’m feeling huge.
But I love this maternity top that Bubba got me from Target, I just wish it came in more colors.