Happy 2 years~!

Two years ago I married my best friend in a different world.

I can’t believe it’s been two whole years since then! Time truly does fly when you’re having fun, I guess. Because it definitely doesn’t feel like two years. It feels like we just got married. But thinking of the span of time from this day to today and everything that has happened between is crazy.

I’m thankful for this moment. For this day. For the friends that were once family and though they’re not anymore I still keep these memories close to me. I’m thankful for the man by my side who did everything in his power to be there for me — a random girl he met on a video game states away and how he never left my side.

I definitely didn’t know what I was getting into when I decided to say yes to Sir Penny’puss.

This boy with his smooth lines, sexy catboi and his sexy glamours who for the last two years since we became friends had made sure that I go to sleep every single night with a smile on my face. Who’s never taken his eyes or his attention off of me.

(Don’t worry, my hotbar doesn’t look like that anymore)

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pxa 2016~

Sometimes life throws up something so god awful you think you’ll never recover. And sometimes it’ll also throw you under the bus. And sometimes, just sometimes, it’ll throw you someone you were NOT at all even trying to look for.

A few days ago hit the 2 year anniversary of when I was forced to get an abortion. I admit that I had been over my ex lonnnnnnng before that. And I was in a very weird in between state of: okay how do I escape this awful situation I’m in and I never ever want to date anyone or have sex ever again for the rest of my damn life.

So when I felt well enough to jump back on FFXIV I was a bit annoyed my friend at the time was heavy set on me meeting a guy she thought I would love. I told her I wasn’t interested nor was I in the mood. I actually told my entire Free Company to stay away from me that day.

I had spent the day fishing because fishing in FF MMO’s was always a way I had relaxed. And Costa del Sol was definitely a beautiful place to just try and get my mind off of things. It’s still one of my favorite places in the game.

I locked myself in my room and I tried to stay away from everyone.

But apparently my friend manged to catch me in the crafting room while I was looking for fishing bait and brought the boys — including the one she was trying to introduce me to — with her. I only knew Xer (the one in all black) who was “her guy”. I figured the one she was trying to have me meet was Sir Penny’puss (the one who is IRONICALLY matching me). I didn’t know who Naha was at the time and I think there was one other guy there but he had left before I snapped this picture.

I was purposely targeted on Naha because I felt so awkward there. Penny had came up to me and hit me with a macro and I had never seen someone compile a macro just as something fun to do. Most of the time people just do macro’s as an easier way to cast a spell or raise people so to see him put together this really fun macro was interesting.

Right when he was done they all stood around me and hit me with the /joy emote which is one of my favorite boy cat emotes. Then they randomly ported away. My friend told me to chill with them in Limsa but I was still feeling a bit low so I decided to log off instead.

I didn’t have a very big opinion on Penny when I first met him — I was surprised he was wearing a straw hat and that his outfit damn near matched mine. And I thought he had a lot of energy. That last bit is still true to this day, two years later.

I remember not really knowing what to make of him or if I was interested in him since I didn’t know him. But I ended up adding him on Facebook a few days later. And I started a poke war with him. That turned into very early morning conversations that went on all day long for weeks.

On the 23rd he started throwing out smooth lines to me:

I went afk for a bit to fold laundry and I came back to Penny sitting right in front of me staring at me. In a top hat. He didn’t know it at the time, I’m sure, but top hats are a weakness.

Me: I’d fold my clothes happily if I came back to this all the time.
Penny: If I’m around I’ll always do this.

And eventually on June 24th this happened:

I asked him if he had a mat I needed for a top I wanted to craft and he did happen to have it, I was particularly new to this game so I didn’t know much about how things worked or how to obtain them. So he met up with me when he got on after work and gave me the mat I needed.

He then decided to keep me company while I fished and between pony farming with his Free Company.

Again, we’re kinda matching.

I talk about this particular photo a lot.

I don’t really know why but it’s still one of my favorite /gpose catches. I don’t remember what we were doing or why we were even throwing emotes at each other and I still to this day have trouble getting Axelyn to face Penny when I’m doing /gpose. But the one time it actually worked, the photo turned out to be one of my favorites.

It’s hard for me to figure out what day I should write/post this post. Simply because we met on the 21st. Well we “met”. We hung out together for the first time on the 24th and we started dating on the 30th. Or well that’s when we had our “first date”. We don’t really have a legit anniversary date so we just picked that one.

~*~

Sometimes life throws things at us that we’re not looking for. Or things we feel like we’re not ready for. But I’ve never been one to let a chance that may change my life slip by.

I can’t believe it’s been 2 years already, it definitely doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. The time has just zipped on by!

FFXIV: The Downfall of Being Social

I was inspired to finally write about what happened to me about 2 years ago on FFXIV because of THIS entry I stumbled on from The Girly Geek Blog.

Preface: I played FFXI from 2004 – 2012 before hopping on FFXIV when it first came out in 2010 then when it crashed and went to shit they remade the entire game in 2013 called Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (lololol we had hoped that shit was reborn) to which I jumped on the beta for.

So me and Square Enix, we’ve got a very long history man.

I ironically didn’t jump on FFXIV again until April of 2015 and I’ve been playing it ever since. Through the few years I’ve been here it’s been.. an experience. Nothing like the mellow FFXI life I had. Literally. Nothing. Fuckin. Like. That.

There are a million stories out there and especially if you have a character Instagram, people are READY to call out the newest fuckboi in the FFXIV community. You can say we’re pretty tight. Most of us anyway. Though you never know who’ll betray you first. But like I said, there are a million and one fucked up stories swirling around and I’m here to share mine.

~*~

When I jumped on in 2015 it was because I had suggested to my bf at the time (he went by “Chan”) we should play together. We were trying to find games to play/stream together and he asked me what my favorite game was and I mentioned this, so we jumped on.

We started on Cactaur and stayed there for about a year before he got tired of the “emptyness” and so he decided we switch to Siren.

We ended up very quickly in a Free Company (a guild if you will) which name I now can’t really remember but known as Sky.

Adventures In… Mental Illness pt II

I honestly don’t know where to go with this next section, this is the part where everything just starts to blur together. And where breaking it apart is going to get harder because from this block of time and into 11 years later was kind of all the same, in a sense.

There were still some pretty significant moments but I’ll try to break it up and keep it in order the best I can.

I wanted to go a little more into the previous abusive relationship though I don’t remember MUCH and I can’t look back on it because the blogs I had back then have all been long deleted since those servers aren’t around anymore. I guess I should had somehow kept a backup somewhere but you don’t think of that shit back then.

I do remember my ex didn’t like that I blogging, he said my blogs all “made him look bad” when he gave me more bad days than good and back then I only wrote about HOW MY DAY WENT, there weren’t many people who knew about blogs back then so you were able to write whatever you wanted without having to censor yourself. The ironic part was that he seemed to only read my blog or remembered it even existed when I had written “something bad” about him. When I’d write happy things about him and I’d even link him he’d tell me I’m lying or some other discouraging shit. He didn’t have a LiveJournal so a lot of times I was able to “friends only” my posts and he wouldn’t had known the difference.